kindness

Hurt is hurt no matter how it happens. Sometimes the worst hurt is from within. No one oerson's pain negates another person's pain. People are very afraid to tell me if they are in pain because I have cancer. They feel embarrassed or weird about it.  I want them to talk to me if they have a hangnail or a hangover. Everyone has a place where they need help to handle stuff large or small or whatever it might be. 


I have to hide things all the time so people don't worry about me. 


I just try not hide it from myself so I can try to work with it. I look at it this way. I grew up a bit broken and in place that didn't really help me with some of my internal issues. In addition to those issues there was some abuse and other external things that almost killed me  I got myself to a place where things got manageable and healthy for me. It took friends, family, and some professional counseling to get me to that place. When I fall apart now sometimes I use the same formula to try to work with my mental issues but now they are complicated by physical issues. It all sucks but I would be nowhere without the support, love, and encouragement of everyone I know. Some of the people I don't know well very well help me by extending me friendship or kindness. It can be a kind word, or a just helping me pick up the books I just dumped on the floor because I can't manage my cane.


I have kindness all around me. I am lucky in this way.